Monkey Fighting Snakes

I was asked to write about romantic love and/or relationships of the romantic type. I really only have two things to say about it but I guess I'll explain those things so that this isn't short (although I will apologize for the length because more than likely it will be really long) and overly confusing.

1. Romantic love is absolutely the worst thing ever. I hate it. It tears people up like nothing else ever could. No one really understands it until they are completely thrown head first into a big swimming pool of love. Is this in any way good? No. You end up acting stupid and doing completely irrational things that you would have never contemplated in the first place. It can also come out of nowhere. Hits you like a wave -BLAM!- Than what do you do? Drown? Most people do. This option is definitely the most stupid. Why? Because then someone pulls you back to the surface. You suck in oxygen and take the love goggles off and realize how much the world sucks again. See what I'm telling you? No good at all. Suckish? Oh yes.

1.1 Relationships of the romantic type are also suckish. It doesn't matter what age you are. Everyone gets pulled into one at one point or another. They can also be the worst things ever. Especially if you aren't prepared. Teenagers are probably the worst about it though. We "fall" in and out of love so many times it's obnoxious. We could be mad crazy over one person for a year and the next day realize that they aren't they person we thought we were dreaming about and fall mad over someone else. I just think it's kind of ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, older people do it too. It's just that no one really scolds them when they screw up big time and get pregnant. They didn't "throw their life away." We're teens though, every wrong decision we make is in the long process of ending our lives. (You know you've heard some adult somewhere say it.) These relationships also tend to be fake. Oh they are very real to the people in them while they are strolling along their merry way. But we are all so finicky that I think it might be better just to make out with your best friends. JUST KIDDING. At our age we very rarely make up our minds and stick to a decision so it's less hurtful just to stay out of relationships. Why? Because they suck.

I say all that to make my second point:
2. Love is absolutely the best thing ever. But let me specify that I'm talking about real love (for fake love see answer #1). Love can be your best companion and closest friend. It can comfort you in any situation and carry you through the ones you know you can't get through by yourself. Most of the time this love doesn't come in the form we want. It doesn't come in a girlfriend or boyfriend and it doesn't come as a kiss. Sometimes this love is just a best friend saying goodnight. It's a long drive with little gas and very loud music. It's a rare smile that shows truth when usually surrounded by pretending. Romantic love can be all this wrapped up in a person. Some people search their whole lives looking for this. Some never find it. But I think we get too caught up in the "who" part of it all. When it really isn't about who at all. It's about knowing and trusting. It's about compassion. Because you should only receive and give that kind of love to a person who is your very best friend. That person should mean so much to you. You have to be close friends to even experience this love. I'm not sure whether there is someone for everyone or not. I absolutely hope there is someone for me. I'll never stop hoping that. But I refuse to settle on less than what I need. I'm not going to go through those false relationships to find what I think I need. A dear friend said that we can't help who we fall in love with, but I'd like to say that we can help who we choose to love. And chosen love (the kind you work at to become closer, that takes time) is always worth the end result.

Yahtzee

First I'd like to apologize for not blogging until today. This has been an interesting week for me. Secondly (if you are reading this), thanks for still reading. I assume you've read about my trip and it was exhausting. I've had to recoop from it.

I've figured out that I don't know what to make this blog about so, readers, I'm just going to talk to you. Because I enjoy talking and feel like I have stuff to say. I think everyone feels like that sometimes, some people are just not so good at talking- hence why I write. I thought a lot about whether I wanted to make my blog opinionated or inspirational. Or just whatever, you know? But I've decided that when you try to limit yourself to one thing, you do exactly that- limit yourself. And limiting oneself is never a good thing. It's like how some people only do one thing their whole lives- either they started out knowing what they wanted to do or they are miserable (or they learned to enjoy misery... if that's even possible). You have to try different things to find what you love. And sometimes you just have to love different things. Be accepting of trying new things. Without trying you may never know. I watched the scariest kids' show I've ever EVER seen with a little kid I was babysitting... uhm I litteraly thought I might have nightmares. But they sang a song (about eating a new snack but that is beside the point) that went something along the lines of, "Try it- you might like it! Try it- you might like it!" Well the song went on for five minutes but you catch my drift. Because trying new things in life actually makes some people happy. You never know what will happen. No one does.

I think that might be the thing I love (and hate) most about life. No one ever knows. Anything. Everyone thinks they know something. But the truth of the matter is that no one knows too much. We just have to try stuff to see what we are good (or not so good) at. And know one knows what is going to happen next in life either. "Psyhics" think they know but I'm not so sure about that. They give such generalized statements. I heard one tell someone that they were going to meet a new friend. Uhm duh! You meet new people all the time. What kind of crap is that? No one knows what is going to happen. Your parents might die or you might win the lottery. Who actually knows? I'd just like to say that rolling with the punches is sometimes the best thing ever. It's how you meet that new person or end up trying something new. We just never know.

Road Construction

I’m returning home soon but there are a few important things I have learned along this trip: sweaty people smell bad, one can’t expect to eat a big bag of Cheetos and not feel incredibly sick sometime after, McDonald’s number ten combo (ten chicken nuggets, a medium fry, and a medium diet coke) is the best thing ever after a day at a theme park, and most importantly, true friends will be there when you need them the most (that includes missing your call at 1:30am then calling you back at 2:00am just to make sure you’re okay). Leaving your home can also really teach you some things about yourself. I learned that I’m very independent and that I definitely prefer driving compact cars as opposed to vans or SUVs.

Other important facts: Loud dance music is always better than depressing rock (unless you’re in a really bad mood). Or it’s 12:30am and you’re trying to sleep but the people in the hotel room next to you are playing some Michael Jackson version of Rock Band. What the heck is up with that?! I didn’t even know that existed. Erg… Road trips are always better with a movie- something mentally stimulating so that the time passes quickly. But not something so intense that you have to look away because then you end up missing half the movie (one of my pet peeves). I’ve enjoyed watching The Manchurian Candidate, 28 Days Later, and 28 Weeks Later. Oh! Something else- one really only needs to hear Taylor Swift once a day if that much. But seriously my dad and I were flipping through radio stations and two stations were playing the same Swift song within one minute of each other. Excessive? I believe that is a yes.

I’m a roller coaster person but I can only ride a coaster so many times before starting to imagine how the coaster could have been more thrilling. I begin to think of loops that should have been added or drops that could have been steeper. Why? Because coasters can only be so exciting for so long. When you can fall asleep on a ride- you’ve ridden it too many times. I was lying in the hotel bed last night listening to my dad snore and then end of The Lost Boys thinking to myself, “What if they made coasters on the same tracks as the bullet trains- the ones that run magnetically.” I mean I’m sure they would have to slow them down but just imagine how fast you could go. Then again I’m no engineer. I have no idea if it would work or not. Just some different things I’ve thought about over my trip.

Airplanes

Dreams are interesting things. The ones when your eyes are shut and you are unconscious against a pillow- not your aspirations. People seek out other people to tell them what their dreams mean. Dreams scare people; they inspire people. Subconsciouses are funny things. They are the root behind why you feel the way you feel. You could be happy on the inside but dreaming terrible things. Why? Because your subconscious doesn't agree with you. It all comes back to being able to lie. I've said before that we're all liars. But what I didn't say is that we're all terrific liars because sometimes we're so good at it that we fool ourselves into thinking one thing when really we feel the opposite.

Dreams are also interesting because they can mean so much to us. Or nothing at all. There have been multiple times where I've dreamed something and it made no sense but came true a month later. Exactly the same way in the dream. It really had no significance but it was still odd. Reoccurring dreams are also weird. Experts say that reoccurring dreams mean things. They have significance. I don't know. Some people claim they don't dream at all. None of it makes real sense to me. Sometimes I dream of other people and I think those are the people that are bothering me or mean a lot to me. Sometimes I dream of places. And sometimes I just wish I knew what it meant. But I don't. Some dreams are good and some aren't. I can't explain the way it works. All I know is that it happens to all of us.

I think some of the things we dream are because we anticipate something greatly or something is very prevalent in our mind. I think it's because we feel it so deep down that we can't help but think about it even when we dream. I think our subconsciouses define what we are really about and sometimes dreams are the only connection we have to them. Maybe it makes more sense to you than it does to me.

So I've decided to change things up just a little. I assume everyone reading this knows me on facebook. If you have a topic you want me to write about or give advice on send me message or write on my wall preferably in letter form. I'll still write my own topics but I'd love to do a little reader based writing as well. Thanks.

Tornados

Today I was waiting in line (for what doesn't really matter) and there were four obnoxious 13-14 year olds standing in front of me. This was a long line and so I listened in only to discover that they were not only ridiculously shallow but also overly judgemental. It was so peculiar. You could tell who the was the queen, her right hand, the one who sticks around but isn't particularly good looking or useful, and the outcast. This was hysterical because it was obvious that the queen always got what she wanted. There was one point where she was talking about the three boyfriends she had. The quiet one laughed but was really rather plain besides that. The queen's right hand girl was an attention hog- half jealous of the queen, half just wanting the attention of everyone around her. However, I found it odd that the outcast seemed to like girls, had less money than the others, and was much prettier. I only say she liked girls because of the clues she gave that the others were ignoring. I felt bad for her; she was by far the prettiest. But the thing about it all that really irked me was you could tell that none of them had any self confidence.

I often read on teacher's posters: "One who stands for nothing will fall for anything." I always get annoyed by this but it's absolutely true. If you have no opinion on something, you are likely to follow the next opinion you agree with. We do it most with our friends. We follow because it's easy- not because it's right. We just want people to think we are normal. We all want to "fit in." But I pose the questions to you: What is fitting in? What defines normal? There is absolutely no right or wrong answer to these questions. People suck at doing the right thing. She's too fat- he hasn't enough money. Who are you and I judge? We shouldn't. But we do anyway. There is no way you can deny that once in your life you have simply looked at someone and thought, "They are weird," or "I can't be friends with them." Why? Because living without confidence makes you unsure of many things. It causes judgemental behavior. Putting someone else down for the sake of bettering yourself. It's ludicrous.

Sometimes believing in yourself is a hard thing to do. Sometimes it seems impossible. But I'm sick and tired of the pity parties we all throw for ourselves. There is no use for them. But we all cry together as if it will make anything better. Get up! Stand on your own feet and then help someone else up. If we all dared to believe in ourselves instead of hurting others, the world would... just imagine the improvement.

Inebriated Navigation

Friends are things that are hard to come by. Some people seem to have loads of them. But people are good at pretending. Really, really good. Because good, true friends aren't easy. Often it's like loving a pet that keeps throwing up on you. But you love it until it stops throwing up- then you're the best of friends. Friendship is hard like relationships are hard. Sometimes nothing makes sense and sometimes it sucks because friendships -really, really fantastic ones- are like family. Think about your best friend(s). You laugh and sing loudly and dance funny, but usually you also fight and scream and kick a little. That's how it's supposed to be.

Sometimes I get incredibly tired. With anything and everything. Physically and emotionally. Sometimes it doesn't matter if everything makes sense or if nothing is clear. Sometimes I just don't care. I know I should though. People who live without caring, live without living. It's when you've given up and you don't care that you need your friends the most. People just suck at seeing how much they need their friends. Unless you're one of those suckish people who live without conscience or consequence, in which case- screw you. You're the reason the world gets so confused. But most people aren't like that. People need other people. They can't see and understand how much other people mean until they are gone. I fortunately (and unfortunately) comprehend how much I love having people around right when they get there. This becomes problematic when the people I care about don't really care back. I'm telling you- suckish people. I love my friends. Don't get me wrong. It's just that sometimes I wish they loved me.

Speaking of love... well love speaks. Through words and actions. Through thoughts and feelings. Love comes in all different forms. All I can really say about it is that it leaves an everlasting tattoo on one's heart. Love is needed and irreplaceable by other things. Love can make or break people. I once heard (don't believe everything you hear or read) that the majority of suicides take place around Christmas time when family spirits are cheerful and warm and everyone is giving, giving, giving. It's because those people don't feel like they belong- they don't feel loved. It's hard to have no one. Everyone needs someone. But it's when you have no one that you learn to stand on your own two feet. And despite having all the friends in the world, standing on your own is possibly the most important thing one will ever learn to do.

Washing Machines

What do you consider funny? I laugh at everything but some people laugh at nothing at all. I think it's odd how someone else and I could think so differently about humor. I mean it's great that we are different but I find it 'funny' that people see things the way they do. I guess this doesn't just apply to what people laugh at but really it applies to everything. It is what makes us beautiful. If we were all exactly the same, life would mean nothing. I could die and it would mean nothing. But instead, we are different and quite frankly, everyone means something.

It is our downfalls that create greatness. Most would argue that this is false but I disagree. They mold us into who we are now. How we react and feel, how we think and see. I believe everyone has greatness inside of them. It is how we were created. Some never use it though. They waste it and in doing so, become a waste to society. You have to understand that greatness doesn't really mean one is good. In fact, it could mean quite the opposite. There were tyrants who possessed such greatness. This didn't make them good rulers, it simply made them powerful. Because it is those who use their greatness to throw themselves ahead that are recognized as anything more than a joke in life. The people who waste greatness, waste life.

Then there are those who cannot believe in themselves but truly see the beauty in others' mistakes, their missteps, and failures. These people are the most capable of compassion because they understand and realize others' needs. They see people the way people were meant to be seen. They understand greatness and power. But most of all, they are much more capable of helping others than most people are. All people fall. Those who know and understand that mistakes are beautiful don't encourage failure; they don't forgive time and time again. Their compassion is simply enough to help those who have fallen return to their feet.

Stamps and Postcards

We all live for different reasons. Life is a question. Of purpose. Of dreams. Unfortunately too many people give up too easily on them. Their hopes and desires. I think people make it too big. Life is larger than life. But it's not. Not really. Life is about living. Everyone screws up. Everyone cries. And everyone lives until they don't anymore. It's that simple.

My town isn't that exciting or too boring. But I think everyone wants to get away from where they are. Like getting away from the place you live is going to make your life better. Sure, sometimes it does. But sometimes it only makes life harder. Sometimes all you want is right there and you just can't see it. For the longest time I thought I wanted to move. Get away; but then I figured out that what I wanted to get away from was going to follow me there. Highly intelligent- I know.

There's a lot of things I wish I had done with my life and I'm not even old. People live with too much baggage and regrets that only hold them back from where they want to be. So I propose a new life- a toast to all you ever wanted to be, to all you ever dreamed you could be, and to exactly how you get there. It's all up to you.